i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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