So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
