is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
