he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
