No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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