How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
