SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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