bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
