I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
