I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
