Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
