1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
