the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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