I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
