just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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