if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
