Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
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