We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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