Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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