My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
