they need to just BURY HIM!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
