When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
