wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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