my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
