What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
His hands were made for my vagina.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
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