My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
