Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
