you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
