Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
