Your tits are I can't wait for
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
