dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
