K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
