i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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