Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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