This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
