How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
