Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Randomize
