the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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