totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
