im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
