Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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