This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
