if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
