Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
