yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
