i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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