he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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