Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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