tell your sister to shave her snatch
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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