I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
