guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
