I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
