I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
