I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
