i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
