How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
