their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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