weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
